Sometimes You Say I'm Just a Friend

“Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell toils; it toils for the.”  Jonne Donn

        

I can grin when I am alone, I sometimes cry in solitude, I create my daily agenda, I can create and I can complete homework. I can plan events, run errands but all that I do has a limit.

I am an extension of others. I am the faith of my grandparents, the perseverance of my grandparents and the repercussions of dedication and care of my parents. I am product of a loving community, a supportive family, caring teachers, thoughtful mentors, amazing friends and a merciful God.

I am who I because of the intentionality and sacrifice of others.

I’ve always been comfortable with being alone and technological advancements have condoned a culture of seclusion.               

Technology has decreased the amount of intentional interactions humans have with one another.

Information was originally conveyed through storytelling. Tribesmenship was an essential component to individual survival.

Now one’s entire existence can be completed without ever having to physically meet another person.

Technology has made life more convenient than ever, but it has made fulfillment almost unobtainable. Satisfaction only derives when one feels they have earned something.

Despite the release of dopamine that I receive after a text message, Facebook like or Snap Chat- there is something missing.

It’s like using high-fructose corn syrup instead of sugar, like wearing an under-armor jacket instead of a coat, like eating frozen yogurt instead of ice-cream. It’s fun, it’s convenient, but it is so empty. The false pretense is so strong that you can actually go a long time before you realize how empty you actually feel.

Human relationships take time, sacrifice and intentionality.

My mom’s cousin is in a rehabilitation facility, he has been low-functioning since coming out a coma last year.

This week we went to visit him, and it was my first time to do so. In my heart I didn’t want to. I don’t like nursing homes, hospitals being around sickness that makes me feel sympathetic and reminds me just how well I am. It is humbling and uncomfortable.

In high school, I mentioned once that I didn’t like nursing homes or hospitals, and my chemistry patiently remarked, “Nobody does.”

That has always stayed with me.

I went to the rehabilitation facility because my mom wanted to go. My mom went because she wanted to see about her cousin, and she wanted to see about her cousin because she loves him. She loves him because she cares for him, prays for him and conveys her love through intentional and sacrificial actions.

She didn’t like a Facebook post, solicit prayer through a shallow status update or send him a card. 

She intentionally set aside the time to go visit.

Relationships don’t happen haphazardly, that is why so many people live empty lives because it takes effort that society has grown unaccustomed to.

When I consider some of my failed friendships, they dissolved because of lack of effort. Moving forward, it isn’t my goal to make more friends, but to be a better friend to the people I already know.