Comparison, Competetition and Categorization

I'm an only child.

I don't have siblings to be compared against- therefore, I am simultaneously the best and worst at all I do.

My accomplishments and failures are often augmented/ blown out of proportion, but never used to determine my value or as a tool to compare me to others.

I became independent at a young age. 

in·de·pend·ent

ˌindəˈpendənt/

adjective

1. 1.

   free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.

I respected my parents' decisions, but I was empowered to make my own choices whenever possible.

I wish to magnify my experience of being an autonomous individual to everyone. My parents realize that there is only Kalen Russell. That of Earth's 7.8 billion people, I am unique. I process information differently, I have a distinct sense of humor, passions and needs that are mine alone.

Though equal, I am incomparable to anyone else.

Each person on Earth is the result of their personal experience and characteristic disposition. There are no means to ever compare two people- nor is there a need to.

Far too often one person is used to represent the ideologies, beliefs and mannerisms of a group. This mindset is often referred to as stereotyping.

stereotype 

A generalization, usually exaggerated or oversimplified and often offensive, that is used to describe or distinguish a group.

Stereotypes rob individuals of their uniqueness, value and sometimes their potential. Stereotypes derive from laziness, as our brain evaluates an entire community based on one individual.

Stereotypes are frequently placed upon minorities, because they are they have a smaller presence in a population in comparison their majority counterparts.

A few populations frequently stereotyped in the United States include:

• Muslims
• African-Americans
• Hispanics
• Disabled persons
• Veterans
• Immigrants

Stereotypes are detrimental to our humanity, reducing beautifully complex individuals to a generic assumptions. 

Removing stereotypes from our ways of thinking is difficult, but definitely possible and absolutely necessary.

In addition to being stereotyped by others, minorities may also suffer from stereotype threat.

Stereotype threat refers to being at risk of confirming, as self-characteristic, a negative stereotype about one's group    

Stereotypes are harmful, to both the person stereotyping and the one being stereotyped. Getting to know someone as an individual requires effort, but the rewards are tremendous, and odds are you will learn something new and maybe make a friend.

I try to limit the extent that I allow societal stereotypes to influence how I view myself and what I assume about others, and you know what they say about assuming..... Don't do it!

What are some days to challenge stereotypes in our daily lives? Comment below.

Sometimes You Say I'm Just a Friend

“Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell toils; it toils for the.”  Jonne Donn

        

I can grin when I am alone, I sometimes cry in solitude, I create my daily agenda, I can create and I can complete homework. I can plan events, run errands but all that I do has a limit.

I am an extension of others. I am the faith of my grandparents, the perseverance of my grandparents and the repercussions of dedication and care of my parents. I am product of a loving community, a supportive family, caring teachers, thoughtful mentors, amazing friends and a merciful God.

I am who I because of the intentionality and sacrifice of others.

I’ve always been comfortable with being alone and technological advancements have condoned a culture of seclusion.               

Technology has decreased the amount of intentional interactions humans have with one another.

Information was originally conveyed through storytelling. Tribesmenship was an essential component to individual survival.

Now one’s entire existence can be completed without ever having to physically meet another person.

Technology has made life more convenient than ever, but it has made fulfillment almost unobtainable. Satisfaction only derives when one feels they have earned something.

Despite the release of dopamine that I receive after a text message, Facebook like or Snap Chat- there is something missing.

It’s like using high-fructose corn syrup instead of sugar, like wearing an under-armor jacket instead of a coat, like eating frozen yogurt instead of ice-cream. It’s fun, it’s convenient, but it is so empty. The false pretense is so strong that you can actually go a long time before you realize how empty you actually feel.

Human relationships take time, sacrifice and intentionality.

My mom’s cousin is in a rehabilitation facility, he has been low-functioning since coming out a coma last year.

This week we went to visit him, and it was my first time to do so. In my heart I didn’t want to. I don’t like nursing homes, hospitals being around sickness that makes me feel sympathetic and reminds me just how well I am. It is humbling and uncomfortable.

In high school, I mentioned once that I didn’t like nursing homes or hospitals, and my chemistry patiently remarked, “Nobody does.”

That has always stayed with me.

I went to the rehabilitation facility because my mom wanted to go. My mom went because she wanted to see about her cousin, and she wanted to see about her cousin because she loves him. She loves him because she cares for him, prays for him and conveys her love through intentional and sacrificial actions.

She didn’t like a Facebook post, solicit prayer through a shallow status update or send him a card. 

She intentionally set aside the time to go visit.

Relationships don’t happen haphazardly, that is why so many people live empty lives because it takes effort that society has grown unaccustomed to.

When I consider some of my failed friendships, they dissolved because of lack of effort. Moving forward, it isn’t my goal to make more friends, but to be a better friend to the people I already know.

The Restrictions of Religion

I hail from Muskogee, Oklahoma- the county seat with a population of around 30,000 kind, traditional and somewhat conformist individuals.

I had 114 in my graduating class. Of these 114 people there was little religious/ spiritual variety. Last weekend in a conversation with my mom, we discussed how most students and staff from my high school attended one of two local churches.

Churches can be great places to grow in one's spiritual journey, but can also hinder personal growth.

When choosing a place of worship, many individuals seek a place where they are comfortable, where their beliefs are confirmed, ideologies and methodologies repeated- things which are not negative within themselves, but it can impede one's tolerance for different ideas and viewpoints.

The problem with my high school classmates all attending the same church, is that they all thought the same way about religion and spiritually. They all viewed religious practices as absolute, with their's being right and deviation from the social norm as wrong.

These thought patterns are humanistic, and as human I too am guilty of occasional narrow-mindedness.

I attend a church where I feel welcome, loved and able to grow. As I mature, I know that all people seek these same things, but may go about it in different ways. It is my love for others that prompts me to respect and support others in their spiritual journeys without judgement.

Really churches are just buildings.

The true value of a church comes from edifice’s function of fostering spiritual growth.  The grandeur of a cathedral is not in its religious appearance, but in its spiritual potential.  -Kalen Russell, The Majesty Within

Religion oversimplifies the human experience and discourages diversity and inclusivity.

I find spirituality to be more inclusive. Within Christianity, differences are accepted, celebrated and add to the strength of the group.

"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptised by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many." 1 Corinthians 12:12-14

So if diversity within a religion is good,  why would diversity of religion be considered bad?

Many religions are founded upon the same principles- love, unity and service to others, event those who are different.

Like me, most pictured in this photo have attended their whole lives. 

The church is one of the strongest echo chambers, and sense religion is so closely linked to identity, these echo chambers are difficult to dismantle.

I try to find my identity from within, from who I am. Not where I worship.

Eeriness of Echo Chambers in Blogging

La Alhambra, Granada, Spain

Social media prompts users to live within echo chambers. Echo chambers are created by individuals with similar ideologies, reinforcing ideas and inhibiting diversity of thought.

            Within the many social media platforms, blogs are the most user specific. For every hobby, religion, food preference and random thought there is blog, which allows an individual to feel as though they belong. This belonging prioritizes group identity, restricting diversity of thought and preventing personal development. “Highly cohesive groups intensely reject deviant individuals,” or ideas that threaten the group’s values (Gilbert, et al).

            Humans naturally oversimplify complex ideas to make them easier to understand (Baranuik). Social media encourages and accelerates the simplification process encouraging: “tribalism, insulation” through a diverse selection of news sources (Baranuik). individuals can “cherry-pick” the information that they are exposed to (Baranuik). Interestingly, the increase is the diversity of media outlets has decreased diversity of thought because many social media users are not exposed to information that conflicts with their beliefs.

            The University of Illinois conducted a study over 1,000 comments placed on the top 33 blogs (Gilbert, et al.). The semantics of each comment were evaluated using a standardized assessment. Of the comments studied 49.4% of comments are neutral, 39.2% agreed with the author and 11.1% disagreed author (Gilbert et. Al).  The low controversy in blog comments shows that blog users rarely follow blogs that they disagree with.

With my study tour group in Cordoba, Spain

            Social theorist and utilitarian John Stuart Mill strongly believed diversity of thought to be “invaluable” to personal development. In an age of convenience, it is more necessary than ever to do what is challenging. To create a more equitable and inclusive society, social media users must step away from comfortable URLS and explore new ideas and ways of thinking.

With classmates in historic gypsy caves Granada, Spain

Sources:

Blogs Are Echo Chambers: Blogs Are Echo Chambers

Social media loves echo chambers, but the human brain helps create them

microaggressions – BIG SCREEN

LATimes.com

Get Out was the number one in America last weekend. Written by comedian Jordan Peele, Get Out uses satire to discuss racism and its subsequent prejudices and microagressions.

This film combines fiction and reality to make the topic of race more palatable/ comfortable. Microaggressions are a common phenomenon. They plague the media, relationships and conversations.

Microaggressions: 

the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, which communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership.

They are typically are conveyed through back-handed compliments or comments that just feel off. Intentional or unintentional,  micoaggressions leave the receiver of a message feeling confused and degraded.

Most microaggressions are created through making an assumption about someone based on a component of their identity.

For example:

• Telling an international student that they “speak English really good.”- Why wouldn’t they?
• Telling a young lady that the is “pretty for a black girl.”- Is prettiness reserved for certain races?
• Asking if they “drive cars in your country?”- Why assume the development of a country is lesser than America just because you haven’t heard of it?

Sometimes those who utilize microaggressions do so unintentionally and mean no harm. But regardless of the intent, microagressions are hurtful and indicative that prejudices are still a prevalent part of society.

I liken the satire of Get Out to that of a modern The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Though humorous and entertaining, the audience is cognizant of a deeper underlying issue.

Mark Twain and  Jordan Peele have both used their platforms to bring awareness to racial inequality.

Microaggressions stem from assumptions and you know what they say about assuming…

So don’t assume. Be intentional. Be inclusive. Be thoughtful. If you make a mistake (as I often do) apologize, and try not to make the same mistake twice.

More than meets the I

The need for community it an intrinsic human desire. 

When asked of the greatest commandment, Jesus  said, "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”  Mark 12:30-31.

Written almost 1,000 years later, The Epic of Beowulf reiterates this same sentiment, as both the poor and rich value comitatus or community more than self, money or honor.

Valuing another's life above one's own, the group more than the individual, the future of descendants more than the present demonstrate the transcendent power of love. 

Love for others is fundamental in Christianity and many world religions, but there are few historical references on self-love. Self- love is the foundation of loving others. It requires awareness, understanding and self-acceptance. It is more difficult to quantify, validate and understand- because we are not conditioned to consider it necessary. 

Our values, priorities and wants display the divinity of our creation and define who we are. 

Society dictates that outward experiences and material possessions are proof of personal success. But success comes from self-reflection. 

Social change beings on an individual level, from self-awareness and self-discipline. 

The prevalent theme in The Road to Character by David Brooks is developing character through committing to personal excellence. 

Self-awareness brings about self-motivation and prompts individuals to becomes the best versions of themselves and serve a greater purpose in society. Self-motivated individuals, display determination, discernment and self-awareness. They are cognizant of their shortcomings and strengths without being limited by either. 

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how,” Nietzsche (Brooks 23). Focusing on the how of life forces outward comparison and feelings of inadequacy. 

Montaigne concluded, that much of the world’s uncertainty and unhappiness’s stemmed from human’s inability to grasp “elusiveness within themselves…the push for worldly splendor…are futile efforts by people who are seeking external means to achieve internal tranquility” (Brooks 229). But those who focus on the why of life find fulfillment and create sustainable change that lasts long after their gone.

Change can only come from an individual's commitment to excellence and the power of transcendence- seeing the world as how it may be rather than what it currently is. So instead of looking to others, heed the advice of the musical great Michael Jackson and look in the mirror.

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better placeTake a look at yourself, and then make a change  

Man in the Mirror- Michael Jackson 1987